BASIC GUIDE TO LIVING IN KARACHI

BASIC GUIDE TO LIVING IN KARACHI



Its amazing that Karachi has not prompted anyone to write a basic How-To-Survive Guide Book considering its one of the biggest metropolitans of the world with thousands of immigrants invading its packed parameters on a yearly basis. No wonder only the fittest in Karachi live to tell the tale while the faint hearted melt away in the blaze of the unforgiving Saddar Sun. But this alarming situation must be put to rest. After all the new entrants and visitors deserve to know how to navigate their way not only through the messy traffic of Karachi but also its the chaotic lifestyle. A daunting task as it maybe, let me start by listing the basic do’s and don’ts of Karachi’s survival kit:

Kindly don’t bother being shocked (let alone resistant) to any attempt at being mugged. It will happen at some point or the other to you and/or your loved ones and perhaps repeatedly, so be ready for it. Furthermore it will be at gun point and in broad daylight and that too in the midst of a crowded street. But please do yourself a favor and don’t be outraged or disillusioned at the casual manner in which all around you are suddenly attacked by a compounded fit of blindness and paralysis. You are on your own, so kindly note that no there is no safety in numbers. You step out at your own peril.

In continuation to the abovementioned pointer, it may be mentioned that waiting for our police force to arrive at the scene of the crime and take charge is an exercise in futility. As they are usually part of the crime being committed it is only to be expected that they will not bite the hand that feeds their stomach.

Once on the road, expect to be rammed from the side and often times head on from an oncoming vehicle in tiny allies and crowded roads of Karachi. There is absolutely no need to boil your blood over right of way or traffic rules. The one with the bigger car wins. Plain and simple. And if that car has government number plates or a few hideous looking turbaned men looking all armed and dangerous, know that it is always your fault. Please, please don’t get into the right and wrongs of the matter. There are none.

Road rage is part of the atmosphere of Karachi. Not only should you be well equipped with the choicest of “gaalis” but you should also be ready and willing to hurl them at all and sundry as well as receive them with good grace. Or not... Once again depending on the size of the car and its inhabitants! Kindly feel free to vent the frustrations of your life and broken dreams on all who look happier or meeker than you do.

If there is electricity flowing in your house or office for more than a couple of hours at a stretch, please say two nafil shukrana. This is not a small blessing to be taken in your stride. A good night’s rest without power breakdown, cranky children and a snarling spouse may be more than you should be aspiring for. Don’t dream so big. You will only end up being disappointed.

Of course there is the ultimate luxury machine….the generator which will keep your home chilled and nerves cool even if it is fifty degrees outside. The din and heat it exudes on the outside may makes your driver/guard/cooks life a few notches more unbearable but after all it’s a small price to pay for your own comfort.

In case you can’t afford one of these mega machines costing upward of Rs 3 lacs (not to mention the thousands of rupees needed to run it on a daily basis) you have no place in high society. After all generators are the new status symbol. How many KVA’s is yours? How many AC’s can it run? Dinner time conversation my dear. So if you have nothing worthy to add to this exchange take my advice. Make a good excuse and don’t show up for the dinner please.
Now addressing the lesser mortals who have to rely on the benevolence of KESC and KWSB, please note that if you are expecting water in your shower to wash away the puddle of sweat that you and/or your children have become by morning (after being up the whole miserable night) don’t. You are only setting yourself up for more disappointments. Of course you are most welcome to take heart in the multi million dollar fountain that the Government of Pakistan in its infinite wisdom found necessary to endow the teaming millions of Karachi with. But clean drinking and bathing water has obviously not been high on the Government’s agenda.

If you have the money to buy tankers at Rs 1500 a pop then you also have to have the heart to see that money literally go down the drain every few days while you dutifully pay your water and sewerage taxes on time. Not to mention your utter dependency on the obnoxious pathan tanker wallas, a breed apart from the rest. Every door bell and you run to the window hoping against hope that he has arrived with the blessed water although he promised he was on the way seven hours ago. And dare you say anything! He has too many more desperate clients in the neighborhood to hear your grumbling, valid as may be.

Schooling is not a fundamental right of every citizen. It is a privilege reserved for the wealthy and well connected. And even then schooling has become a big money making conspiracy hatched by a conglomerate of schools to fleece harassed parents. It all begins right after the birth of the child when you have to immediately register him/her at the appropriate play school/Montessori because no decent private school will consider a child who has not attended the listed Play schools and Montessoris’. The horror unveils itself when your child gets admission into the Montessori of your choice. The registration fee for the same runs into tens of thousands of rupees not to mention the monthly fee that is sometimes greater than school fees. But what option do you have if you are hell bent on making education a priority for your children? So beg, borrow, steal you find ways to make the investment in your child’s future….an activity that seems to be a bottomless pit!

Lastly, don’t just show up at any ones house unannounced. It’s considered rude and intrusive to walk into your relative or friend’s house without requisite advance notice.

Oh yes. I forgot to mention one more thing.

Welcome to Karachi !


AMNA MUMTAZ

On the Sidelines.....by Amna

Adulthood is a scary experience. Adolescence may leave lingering impressions as it gets subsumed by the turbulence of teenage hood. Even the teenage angst can cling to the hope of being resolved with the passage of time and maturity. But where does one turn too when the feelings of alienation and confusion solidify into bitter disappointment and permeate the thirties? Is that a comment on life's inequities or human frailty in the face of the same? Or does that simply mean such a person is doomed to be a disillusioned idealist whipped around by the harsh realities of life yet compelled to believe that right is right and wrong is wrong no matter what the compulsions of the situation?

I believe there is a saying that if you are not an idealist by the time you are 18 you are a fool. But if you are still an idealist by the age of 30 you are an even bigger fool. I guess this worldly cynicism is what growing up is supposed to mean. Another term of art that comes to mind is the term diplomacy which in many given situations is the politically correct version of the term cowardice.

Every time we keep silent when in fact we should be speaking or indulge where we should abstain we somehow justify it by saying that's what being an adult is. Let us not rock the boat. Who needs the hassle that erupts from standing up for one's belief. Do we not have enough of a challenge on our plate with the day to day struggles of life? Should we not only focus on ourselves and our interests exclusively. After all the competition in today's world is fierce. Can we afford to be diverted from the path of self interest by indulging in useless battles regarding principles and values? Life as it has unfolded for most of us, has shown time and again that worldly gain, fame and fortune has seldom been the reward of those who value service to others over themselves.

All those notions of egalitarianism, freedom of thought and inalienable right to dignity irrespective of caste color or creed, are good only so long as they are confined to classroom discussion. But please let us not even attempt to practice what we preach.

On the side lines ...that's where we should be. Taking a stand, now that's costly business only fools and desperados can afford.

However what the above world view fails to take into account is that for every 100 people who have failed to get ahead in life because of a principled stand, there are 1000 others who have succeeded only because they refused to back down from what is right or what is their due. In fact the common link between highly successful people, those whose fame and respect has outlived them, is that they have remained true to themselves and their believes.

Which prophet or world leader, renowned artist or scientist has made his or her mark on this world by being weak or compromising or selling out to secure their own gain at the cost of others? Of course there is suffering and alienation involved in attaining any greater good. Fingers are pointed, ridicule is hurled, deprivation looms large. Can there be heaven without hell? The rewards are great but so is the cost. Only the fortunate are the ones who stand firm and tall, clinging onto their faith and conviction, in the face of adversity .

No doubt refusing to take a stand in any given situation has the alluring aspect of safety. You may avoid a fight, some embarrassment, losing a job, husband or friends. But when all these things can only be retained by compromising on what is correct or moral or ethical then I wonder what it is we save by retaining the same.

Funny how our first impulse is always to secure short term benefit even if it comes at the cost of long term relief. There are countless examples that come to mind where the terror of suffering be it emotionally, physically or financially has ironically made people tighten the noose around their very own throats.

It is sad but marriage above all else, for most people is synonymous with the word compromise. It is this sensible sounding word that so many of us use to justify very insensible situations. There is that insecure wife who seeks meaning and value in her life by clinging on desperately to a man who has little or no value for her, her hopes and desires. The terror of being self sufficient whether financially or emotionally is so great that it consumes her self esteem like wild fire. Using children as a shield, so many people, specifically women, remain in loveless, thankless, corrupt marriages ravaging their soul and forsaking it all for a false sense of security. And the irony of it all is that they are actually standing at the very edge of a precipice in the mortal terror of being pushed over by the very thing they cling so desperately onto.

And what happens inevitably? One day when they are too old or too bitter to turn back, they realize that those inbred fears of loss were just that:. fears which should have been stared back at not shied away from. But by then the damage has been done, primarily to their self esteem and their chance of being rehabilitated, of seeking and finding happiness, not to mention their children for whom allegedly all this sacrifice was made in the first place.

Ironically enough it is the children who are the front line victims of unhappy marriages, stuck between the cross fire of their parents hatred, bitterness and apathy towards each other. And the tragedy of it all is that all too often, children of unhappy marriages are helpless before the compulsion to repeat and suffer the mistakes of their parents.

So the cycle continues...to what end? I wonder how beneficial compromising your inalienable right to dignity and respect at the alter of marriage really is at the end of the day?

Surely if an uneducated, oppressed, village woman like Mukhtaran Mai, subjected to the worst form of violence and degradation could battle her circumstances for the cause of justice and dignity, there is hope for all those who are too weak or too scared to lose their children or their financial security or even their standing in society. Indeed this hapless woman proved beyond a shadow of doubt that it is neither education nor financial and social security that one requires to stand up and stare the ghost in the eyes, but Faith. For is it not Faith that elevated Mai Mukhtaran from the depths of degradation to become a symbol of courage and dignity for not only women but human beings throughout the world? Indeed Faith, is the one and true antidote to fear.

It is this Faith which moves mountains, makes the unthinkable possible and rewards in ways one can't even envision but not without exacting its toll and surely not without putting its own true worth and value in your life to great test. The rewards and blessings our reserved for only those who are prepared to pay the cost.

Professional life poses much the same challenges to your value system as marriage may. At every turn you are faced with the dilemma of either doing the right thing and risking your bosses ire and even perhaps a promotion or the job itself or maintaining a diplomatic silence, even indulging in impropriety to maintain the status quo, your bosses approval or even a better job.

However such lack of professional ethics eventually gnaws away at your soul along with your future job prospects. To blindly offer allegiance to a boss that is weak and unprincipled leaves you at the peril of being left high and dry by a person who will not think twice of sacrificing your interest if it clashes with his own. That is the price on has to pay and the risk one runs for banking on people rather than principles, on contacts and PR rather than merit and diligence, for seeking instant gratification and a false sense of security rather than long term benefits and peace of mind .

How ironical to think that those foolish people who tackle the problem head on and take the pain upfront by refusing to compromise on their principles end up being masters of their own destiny rather than a slave to someone else's whims. Indeed I often wonder who has the last laugh?

There has never been a more heated debate regarding the independence of the judiciary as there is raging today when its very last vestige has been shamelessly and mercilessly robbed. But the point of reflection is not the current abysmal state of judicial and political affairs. Those are a mere eventuality. After all we have already been warned :you shall reap as you sow. We shall point no fingers at the faultless. But for the governmental machinery to blame the media for scandalizing a scandalous situation is like the pot calling the kettle black!

Independence of any kind, be it personal, political or even judicial is ultimately the fruit of steadfast struggle and deprivation for a cause that is more noble than merely one's own gratification and selfish ends. It is the ultimate victory of standing up for principles and ideals that elevate the human condition without getting blind sighted by the lure of worldly fame and fortune, social acceptability or momentary gain.


AMNA MUMTAZ.